Getting an Electronic Japanese Dictionary

My intermediate Japanese class is going to start in another two weeks, and I have not even started my revision so far. Taihen desu ne!
So, I started with some Japanese movie synopsis readings last weekend to get the brain to work. I copied the synopsis from www.goo.ne.jp and pasted on my Word. Initially I was trying to read and keep notes using Word, but it is too messy with words, colors and comments spreading all around thedocument. In the end, I wrote down the whole article on my notebook with plenty of spaces in between lines. I wrote the notes all over the paper using colorful felt-tip pens. Guess what, the note looks a lot more presentable and is interesting to read.
So, how I checked up all those vocabularies? I actually used the online dictionary on Goo and copied everything on my notebook. Whew! That's a lot of work, but the notes look great and is informational. It took me more than three hours to read that two paragraphs. However, I experienced pains on my wrists and arms at the end of my study.

I decided to get myself an electronic dictionary after that painful evening. I did a bit of research online and found that most of the non-native Japanese speakers, especially native English speakers recommended a PDA over electronic dictionary. So, I spent another two days looking for a Japanese-capable PDA. Many recommended a Palm over Pocket PC.
I went back to work on Wednesday and enquired my ex-boss who is IT savvy and a PDA lover. She advised me to get the softwares I need before getting one, be it Palm or Pocket PC. So, I went on with my Internet adventure again. This time I found a totally opposite opinion - a Pocket PC over a Palm! Huh, that is just damn great! Two extremes.
I decided to get a Pocket PC because my ex-boss is wiling to sell me her old Dopod cheap secondhand. ^_^ But, how am I going to get that Dopod to display Japanese text and run a Japanese dictionary?! More surveys. I went to one of the biggest mall in my hometown and asked from shop to shop. Shop assistants looking at me with a surprise and suspicious look. Oh gosh why is it so difficult to get a Japanese-capable Pocket PC!
My conclusion is Malaysians are not really into knowledge or foreign languages. That is why I can't even get a proper Japanese dictionary in hardcopy. And shop assistants know nothing about their products, so, it is better to do my own research.
I emailed the Dopod Asia support group, and in a BLINK they reverted my enquiries to their software supplier - Mobem. And my problem is solved. All Dopods are bundled with CE-Star, which supports both Japanese and Chinese input/output. Amazing! Even if my ex-boss's old Dopod doesn't come with CE-Star, I can either buy a brand new Dopod (very $$$) or buy the software online.

- Case Closed -

Gloomy Days...

I wonder if gloomy is the best word to describe my recent days.

Two months ago my granny tripped herself and fell, and broken her pelvic joint. She was hospitalized for a week. The first week she came home, we all yelled at her trying to stop her to walk to toilet as often as once in every 15 minutes. Eventually we gave in and let her do whatever she wants.

I wished that I don't have a granny, at that depressing weekend. We all started to get used to the situation, and pulled ourself out of all the frustrations and depressions after that first week.

Three weeks later, she was so ill and was hospitalized again, for five days. Glucose in her blood was too low, she passed out. The night before she passed out, she acted weirdly - treated us so nicely. In the afternoon the day before she passed out, she said "I know you did all these for my own good" to my elder sister when she took granny to pee. In the evening, she was so ill and wanted to see everyone. She held everyone's hands, as if she is soon to leave us. We all cried. First time in my life I saw my dad and all my sisters cried so sadly.

I thought I hated granny, however, I don't. I'm just angry at her, her actions to be specific.

Early this morning, she passed out and was hospitalized again. It's her blood glucose again. None of us cried, we were all prepared.

Do I hate her? I guess not, but I'm still very angry at her, for what she did to us.

Miss You

Came back from lunch, sitting in front of the computer, all in a sudden I miss my former colleagues so much. They are like family to me, three sisters and an aunty.

I've never felt this since I join the new company. It's been seven months, but still I don't have someone whom I will share my feelings with, in this new company. I'm still skyping my ex boss whenever I'm unhappy, sad, stressed up, stressed out...

Kooi Ling, Min Min, Beh and Celina, I miss you all so much!

Bored...

Gee I actually enjoy being stuffed with work.

Since I complained about aches on my arms, my boss reduced my workload. It's been a week, I'm so bored working without much work, which means no challenges.

Urgh, work, work, work! Without much work, I'm bored; too much work, I'm stressed up. Oooh, what am I suppose to do?

I'm so free that I have time to read all the posts in my blog and my friend's blog. I'm so bored that I keep bugging my friends on skype till they don't feel like entertaining me anymore. :(

Between Kind and Cruel

Sick, I am really sick, both physically and mentally, sick. Anger has possesed me, I could not stop myself from angry at my grandma.

Two weeks ago, grandma tripped and fell at home at late night. None of us know how she could have tripped herself and fell, and broken her leg. Grandma is the psycho type of person, she is suspicious, bad tempered, and also cruel.

Since my dad is the only child, we have no excuse but to stay with grandma. Grandma is a tyrant, every one has to obey her. We did, me and my siblings did obey her, untill we all are old enough to make our decision. Quarrels started, endless quarrels between grandma and the rest of the family for years. Eventually, we chose the simplest way to avoid the quarrels - we all stopped talking to grandma.

Grandma is selfish too, so selfish that she would torture her own son. Since she discharged from the hospital and came home, she never stop torturing my dad and all of us, including my mum. She refused to wear diapers, and asked my dad to assist her to toilet once or twice hourly, every night.

Even during day time, she won't let go any of the opportunities to torture every one. Every half an hour or less, she will make fusses wanted to go pee. Every one is stressed up, we yell and yell at her. But, all the yelling, threatening, frustration do not lead to a solution. We all are still in the deep fire that burns us alive.

I wish she will die sooner. I felt guilty for saying so, but, I want my dad and every one at home to live longer. So, I hope my grandma will die sooner.

RSI

These few days I have been suffering from Repetitive Stress Injuries (RSI), which is a result of me trying to outperform at work.

Two weeks ago, I took in two cases voluntarily in order to get my year-end appraisal looks good. However, those undistributed cases are normally the 'pig's head bones', those unwanted fussy cases that will never go smooth.

It is indeed. Eventually I came back to work during the long weekend holiday, working for a total of approximately 14 hours.

The past weekend, I wasn't working, luckily. Thinking that a good rest during the weekend will help me wash away all the tiredness, however, it didn't work the way I expected it to be.

On Friday's night, coming back from work, I felt numb on my arms, though it was not severe. Saturday, the day I thought I could relax and study, the numbness became more severe. Finally Sunday reached, the pain increased till I was hardly to lift my arms.

Today, it is Monday. The pain is so severe that I felt like my fingers weren't mine when I was riding on my way to work. At work, I could hardly type or rest my hands on the desk for more than 20 minutes.

This is RSI, pals. So, don't ever try to outperform at work. The only outcome of that is you will experience pains that you can't afford.

Faces

It is amazing how much messages conveyed through the one's appearance. Your face, your movement, your voice, your talking tone, etc.

Can you imagine how people judge at the very first time they meet you? Gee more than you can imagine.

After lunch, I skyped my boss asking how long is he go for vegetarian. Then, we started a chat about the face of someone - the clubbing face, the studious face, the serious face, the quiet face, the playful face etc.

Swearing

17-Oct-2007

Gosh, I'm about to collapse or blow up soon. Have been stretched myself for the weekend to work, and squeezed and drained my brain. This morning I woke up thinking that I can relax a bit for the day, but being thrown another case to compile which due end of the day. FUCK!!! Though I'm not suppose to swear as I promised myself, I just can't help it this time. I just have to SWEAR and SWEAR...

Feeling Guilty

Being around with friends is never easy, especially when you do not understand them, and you do not plan to try to understand them either. However, nothing would be worse than when you disagree with them and you start to despise them for their behaviours, attitudes, perspectives, etc.

It is just not easy, instead it is very difficult. Recently, I have problem dealing with my own feelings - feeling guilty for despising my own friends, or those I now considered as someone I know about.

Previously, I never thought of how to define friend - what is a friend? Now, I have my own definition. Friend, is someone I admire, not necessarily he or she is to be the best amongst peopel I know of, but there must be something about him or her that I admire. Otherwise, it is kind of impossible for me to be close with that someone.

This is a serious problem. As I now despise most of my friends, I avoid seeing them. No more hang out. No more phone calls. Lastly, I do not even chat with them online anymore. Feeling guilty for being so "practical', but it is not wrong for what I have done so far.

We all influence others, and vice versa. So, it is very important that who we are hanging out with. If your friends are those motivated and positive, you will soon become one of them. If your friends are those negative and slacking type, you will soon become one of them too. For me, this is the truth.

So, I will just bear with that feeling of guilty.

DIET or DYING?

Heard from ex-boss that her two staff are currently on diet to slim down by eating a lot of cili padi. Ummm, that's new and strange. After eating that ladies fingers with lots of cili padi, they diarrhea for the whole afternoon.

Though ex-boss never said she's not happy about it, but I'm sure she's really not happy indeed. Intentionally causing diarrhea during working hours shows is not professional.

If I were at my ex-boss's position, I would've pointed it out, though probably with a toned down way. People who have no idea about professionalism and ethics at work, you just can't expect them to be sensible about critics and comments, even though they are the constructive ones.

Human beings can have more than hundred definitions for the same matter. Well, that's just the way the world works. So, don't push it too hard.

Miss you a lot

I miss colleagues from previous job so much. I missed them terribly, especially since last night's incident.

I've been seeing the differences between my former colleagues with my current colleagues since I started with this new job. Most of my new colleagues are nothing more than just a bunch of college kids, or worse even - a bunch of school kids.

I'm glad my ex-boss KL didn't see me as neither college nor school kid when i first joined the company. Thanks, KL. You've been such a great boss and a good friend to me. You're my role model.

StUpiD DaDa's Confession

It's been quite a long time I haven't had anything posted up here. All this while, I've been posted in my new English and Japanese blog - http://dada83.blogspot.com. Yea, a blog that is so mysterious, secretive, and lonely which I bet none of my friends have visited it.

Tonight, I'm so miserable and in desperate need of advice. Advice, I need advice from you. With the hope of getting responses from you all, I posted this both in my dada83.blogspot and here.

It's been a busy day - working half day and took half day leave to attend a job interview, as well as attend the farewell dinner of a colleague who's leaving next week. Of course, it was not only dinner. Someone poppped up with the idea of going to karaoke, but we all ended compromising with a movie at Queensbay.

The movie started at 9.15pm, and expected to finish by 11pm. 11pm! Gosh, it's been quite a long time I never hang out till that late, and definitely not with a motorbike. So, I rang home and told my sister I'll be going back late tonight. Less than a minute after I hung up the phone, my mum called and asking me to go home straight away. I would have blown up if this happen in few years back. But, no, I didn't blow up. I do understand how my parents feel about me going home late night riding a motorbike. I've had worried about my sisters who came home late. I know exactly what kind of feeling that is.

I went silent for more than a minute, I just didn't know what to do. My colleagues had been trying to persuade me to go karaoke for more than 15 minutes, which I felt so uncomfortable with. Then, we compromised with going for a movie. And right at the time my mum insisted that I should go home, my boss walked towards me with the tickets in his hand. Eventually, I watched the movie, and thinking about my parents worrying back there at home.

Soon after the movie finished, I quickly rode my motorbike home. I was riding at the speed of 80km per hour. That's lightning speed, at least it is for me who is riding on a motorbike. I wasn't worried about getting scolded, I no longer worry about being scolded for my mistakes or faults by my parents for quite some time. I was really sad for making my parents worrying about me.

I used to think that I'm old enough and matured enough to take charge of my life. Tonight, first time since I went to study in Australia, I don't think I'm good enough, old enough and matured enough to take charge of my life. I don't even know how to say NO to things that I don't like or I don't want to do.

It's kind of stupid to be bothered by myself thinking that others seeing me as mummy's or daddy's little girl. But, I do care about it, and very much indeed. I don't want to be mummy's little girl nor daddy's little girl. I always wanted to give the impression to others that I'm a matured young woman, who take charge of my own life, who never have to ask for permission to hang out late, who make decision for every single thing in life. How stupid I am and how naive I am to think so?!

I just wanna to say sorry - Dad, mum, I'm so sorry that I made you worried. Sorry.

Stinginess for words

Just can't understand why people are so ungenerous with words in letters or emails nowadays. Is it so hard for them to type a few words instead forwarding an email to the friends?

I always appreciated friends who type me personal messages. I would be excited if I get a hand scribbled letter from a friend. However, it has become such a luxury to receive hand written notes or letters. Now, even a personally composed email is too luxurious to ask from someone.

Sigh, we are all so stingy about words, both spoken and written, personally. We had rather forward an email that does not even carry the word "Hi". Sad.

Another Friday

It's Friday again! A quiet week with only one surprising news - one of the supervisors left. Ooo surprisingly one of them is leaving. Used to think that they will stay for a longer period since the company is expanding and there are more openings for manager-level positions.

Uhmm probably the work is just too tough, the workload is just overly heavy for the supervisors. Frustrations have been going around in the supervisors gang.

On the way getting rid of music at work

Feel like getting rid music off my working hours. Yup, that's right! Headphones and earphones are no good for the ears, so better get rid of them as soon as possible or as frequent as possible.

Due to the nature of work, I have to rely on music to bring some fun to my boring working hours. However, recently I experienced pain on the nerves near my left ear. At first, I thought it was merely because I had too much biscuits, but the pain did not go away after I stopped eating biscuits or drinking MILO.

So, I decided to stop using them. Today, I have only used my headphone for less than 15 minutes. And that was during lunch time listening to the Japanese Textbook CDs.

Cool! It would be good if I can focus on my work without the help of music in the future.

Wish me luck, buddies! :P

3.06pm
Discrepancies made by my SA during the review of my reports are confusing me. Why we get the blame while there are no standardization from the supervisors' end? How on earth shall I know which is correct, which is wrong and which one to follow? Two out of ten he will give me a different answer for the same question.

It is just so stupid for all the discrepancies and redundancies occur in the office. Same as 'stupid idiot".

Another Day...

2.33pm
Back aches since this morning. Couldn't find where the stress come from. Could it be being not happy at work?

In desperate need of new challenges, the report writing is no longer challenging to me. There have to be new challenges to inspire, excite me. There must be something out there waiting for me to discover.

There must be new challenges waiting for me out there.

4.28pm
I'm slouching in front of the computer. Just don't feel like working. I wanna go home!!!

Evolving into Zombi

Arhhhhhh....so sleepy. Motivation has been stolen away from me. Soon I'll be dragging my body to work, like a zombi. Yucks, a zombi who eats human beings' flesh. Urghhhh!

Bad sign. This is a sign of me leaving the job soon. Struggling, I want my promotion. I see the rocketish career advancement here. Aiks, will I be able to stop myself from evolving into zombi? Err, no idea. Let's just hope I will be able to.

3.00pm
It's 3pm but I'm still not in the mood of work yet. I'm still on the "Away" mode since this morning. NO, it's since last week. Oh gosh. What am I suppose to do?! Even the most inspiring Broadway musical songs are of no use. Helplessly demotivated. :(

4.42pm
I can't wait to grab my backpack and leave the office. Haiyo, why's the time crawling and not flying?! Ummmm, probably because I'm crawling and not flying while doing my job.

Why most of the management want to bully those that have resigned and waiting to leave the company? Can't the management just treats them like any other staff? If they've been treated fairly, especially after they thrown the resignation letter, they'll appreciate the company they are soon to leave more. At least they won't purposely screw up in their work. It's such a lost for the company if people screwing up in their work.

A Blue Week

Sigh, it's Friday again. Others have blue Monday, while I found Friday is even bluer at times.

A tough week is ending soon. Tough, not because of the workload is heavy, just that I'm not motivated for this week. Why? It's the shift work system that's driving me nut. Though the management confirmed that the normal working hours won't be dimissed, but it's only for temporary, in my opinion. By the time the management has trained enough analysts, all of us who's anti-shift will be pressured to work shift.

Pessimistic? Darh, I just can't be optimistic about this. This is real life - employer will not care about employees' wellfare. That's the truth, so true that it makes life sad.

Felt like simply do the work, but I just couldn't. Once I started to simply glance through the screen, I felt insecure. Yea, that's not me, who always seek for perfection. Gosh, then I'll be work like "kek".

Argghhhh...a terrible week - taihen desu ne

Sien. Suddenly felt like quitting the current job. Yea, affected by the new shift work system. Sad, all plans have to be modified again. Staggerred? Cancelled? Arghhh...sick of it!

Keeping myself MOTIVATED

Gosh, i've been slacking over the week. I need something to motivate myself. Where's all my motivation gone? In the drain or back in that recycle bin waiting for me to pick it up?

Hide my feelings from colleagues

Can I trust all my friends at work? I thought I could, but now I'm not sure. Not that I distrust them, just that I don't want to put all my feelings under the sun. At least not to my colleagues, espcially when it is work-related.

Maybe we just can't trust anyone in this world. Though not necessarily they'll tell the management about you, but gossips go around and there it is all about you are exposed to everyone.

sHaRiNg

Looking for someone to share everything - books, emotions, blogs, interesting websites, yummy food, etc. But where's that someone?

Happy time, I wanna share the laughter with you. Sad time, I hope you will bring me a box of tissues. Stressed out weeks, wishing you to go hiking with me on the weekends. Put on weight time, we'll go swimming together.

SHIT!!! I think I've gone crazy, insane, nut...I got excited when there's urgent cases. :( Dah...it must have been a sign of transforming into WORKAHOLIC. S.O.S - that's all I can think of at the moment.

初めて日記を書きます

２００７年９月１６日 雨

今始めて日本語で日記を書きます。どうぞよろしくお願いします。

私は２４歳で、アナリストです。家族は七人です。両親、祖母、姉が一人と妹が二人です。

今日本語を勉強しています。日本語が上手だったら、日本へ働きに行きたいです。しかし、まだ上手です。

日本語で日記を書くのは日本語上手になりますと思っています。

お休み。