Monday, November 5, 2007

Between Kind and Cruel

Sick, I am really sick, both physically and mentally, sick. Anger has possesed me, I could not stop myself from angry at my grandma.
Two weeks ago, grandma tripped and fell at home at late night. None of us know how she could have tripped herself and fell, and broken her leg. Grandma is the psycho type of person, she is suspicious, bad tempered, and also cruel.
Since my dad is the only child, we have no excuse but to stay with grandma. Grandma is a tyrant, every one has to obey her. We did, me and my siblings did obey her, untill we all are old enough to make our decision. Quarrels started, endless quarrels between grandma and the rest of the family for years. Eventually, we chose the simplest way to avoid the quarrels - we all stopped talking to grandma.
Grandma is selfish too, so selfish that she would torture her own son. Since she discharged from the hospital and came home, she never stop torturing my dad and all of us, including my mum. She refused to wear diapers, and asked my dad to assist her to toilet once or twice hourly, every night.
Even during day time, she won't let go any of the opportunities to torture every one. Every half an hour or less, she will make fusses wanted to go pee. Every one is stressed up, we yell and yell at her. But, all the yelling, threatening, frustration do not lead to a solution. We all are still in the deep fire that burns us alive.
I wish she will die sooner. I felt guilty for saying so, but, I want my dad and every one at home to live longer. So, I hope my grandma will die sooner.

1 comment:

  1. There are rare comments of grandma being cruel but unfortunately I have a cruel grandma too.

    I WISH MY GRANDMA WOULD DIE AND FOR YOUR SAKE YOUR GRANDMA TOO. It's harsh but this is part of life that was set up we had to deal with. I sympathize with you because you're grandma sounds
    worse.

    I'm still fighting with grandma even as I type now. She's a troublemaker and starts things. When I finally fought back, even after a long period of time, SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.

    I tried everything to IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE but it's like I'm shooting blanks--she was ALWAYS IN
    THE WAY. When I got married she told my husband then I always cry a lot. That was embarrassing
    and CRUEL OF HER TO DO THAT. She used to tell people that I cry a lot and thought it was funny.

    My grandma sounds like a jealous girl. She always puts me down. I get the attention now and she's
    withering and old. she said she used to have beautiful long hair--but not anymore. She had ugly
    curly nappy hair. EVERYONE IGNORES HER NOT BECAUSE SHE'S OLD IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S CRUEL AND BLUNT.
    She hurt me in many ways and she used to humiliate me in front of other people to make herself
    look better. But not anymore.

    She would say anything that shows my weakness:
    She said lipstick gets on my big teeth.
    She said my daughter likes her better than me.
    She said I was ugly
    She would cook anything to make me fat.
    She criticizes my sewing;
    I made a nice fur coat out of nothing.
    She said my car looks ugly and it was a new HONDA CRV.

    And when I feel extremely depressed at times, she catches it everytime and make things WORSE by
    saying "are you going to cry?" HER FACE IS SMILING when I am in pain. She used to tell people that I cry a lot and thought it was funny.

    She would pull pranks by putting her hair in the frying pan where I cooked my food once. Never felt so disrespected in my own house. She even put a CHUNK OF PEE on the toilet to upset me. IT'S NOT THE OLD WAYS alright. Her mind is still very sharp. I SHOULD KNOW. I don't get fooled whenever she tries to act "senile" to get out of being shouted at. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.

    So I threw all my manners or morals whatever out the window:
    I called my grandma a fat ass.
    I don't help her at all.
    I bitch with her enemies of all the stupid stuff she done. It was a relief to find people to relate to me and felt the same way. She was a bitch, old and ugly.
    I would speak English and not talk Tagalog anymore so she won't feel familiar with me anymore.
    I slam doors randomly.
    I hid the Coke which I know was her favorite whenever she visits.
    I don't answer the phone when she calls
    I take her money like a thief whenever she gives it to me-completely no appreciation. I should get paid more for the hell she given me.
    Before she makes my grandpa looks like a hero to my relatives. Not anymore. I exposed and reminded them how grandpa cheated on her with 4 other women and he had illegitimate kids with them.
    I always tried to show my aunt's picture who recently died to make my grandma cry. It works every
    time :)
    I always said she was smelly to anyone who would listen.
    I always turned off the lights for fun because I know she was afraid of the dark.
    I even pulled a Paris Hilton and left her alone in the house which I know she hates being alone
    in the house.

    I don't feel bad when I UPSET GRANDMA anymore because she always find a way to upset me.

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