Sunday, October 14, 2007

Feeling Guilty

Being around with friends is never easy, especially when you do not understand them, and you do not plan to try to understand them either. However, nothing would be worse than when you disagree with them and you start to despise them for their behaviours, attitudes, perspectives, etc.
It is just not easy, instead it is very difficult. Recently, I have problem dealing with my own feelings - feeling guilty for despising my own friends, or those I now considered as someone I know about.
Previously, I never thought of how to define friend - what is a friend? Now, I have my own definition. Friend, is someone I admire, not necessarily he or she is to be the best amongst peopel I know of, but there must be something about him or her that I admire. Otherwise, it is kind of impossible for me to be close with that someone.
This is a serious problem. As I now despise most of my friends, I avoid seeing them. No more hang out. No more phone calls. Lastly, I do not even chat with them online anymore. Feeling guilty for being so "practical', but it is not wrong for what I have done so far.
We all influence others, and vice versa. So, it is very important that who we are hanging out with. If your friends are those motivated and positive, you will soon become one of them. If your friends are those negative and slacking type, you will soon become one of them too. For me, this is the truth.
So, I will just bear with that feeling of guilty.

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