RSI

These few days I have been suffering from Repetitive Stress Injuries (RSI), which is a result of me trying to outperform at work.

Two weeks ago, I took in two cases voluntarily in order to get my year-end appraisal looks good. However, those undistributed cases are normally the 'pig's head bones', those unwanted fussy cases that will never go smooth.

It is indeed. Eventually I came back to work during the long weekend holiday, working for a total of approximately 14 hours.

The past weekend, I wasn't working, luckily. Thinking that a good rest during the weekend will help me wash away all the tiredness, however, it didn't work the way I expected it to be.

On Friday's night, coming back from work, I felt numb on my arms, though it was not severe. Saturday, the day I thought I could relax and study, the numbness became more severe. Finally Sunday reached, the pain increased till I was hardly to lift my arms.

Today, it is Monday. The pain is so severe that I felt like my fingers weren't mine when I was riding on my way to work. At work, I could hardly type or rest my hands on the desk for more than 20 minutes.

This is RSI, pals. So, don't ever try to outperform at work. The only outcome of that is you will experience pains that you can't afford.

Faces

It is amazing how much messages conveyed through the one's appearance. Your face, your movement, your voice, your talking tone, etc.

Can you imagine how people judge at the very first time they meet you? Gee more than you can imagine.

After lunch, I skyped my boss asking how long is he go for vegetarian. Then, we started a chat about the face of someone - the clubbing face, the studious face, the serious face, the quiet face, the playful face etc.

Swearing

17-Oct-2007

Gosh, I'm about to collapse or blow up soon. Have been stretched myself for the weekend to work, and squeezed and drained my brain. This morning I woke up thinking that I can relax a bit for the day, but being thrown another case to compile which due end of the day. FUCK!!! Though I'm not suppose to swear as I promised myself, I just can't help it this time. I just have to SWEAR and SWEAR...

Feeling Guilty

Being around with friends is never easy, especially when you do not understand them, and you do not plan to try to understand them either. However, nothing would be worse than when you disagree with them and you start to despise them for their behaviours, attitudes, perspectives, etc.

It is just not easy, instead it is very difficult. Recently, I have problem dealing with my own feelings - feeling guilty for despising my own friends, or those I now considered as someone I know about.

Previously, I never thought of how to define friend - what is a friend? Now, I have my own definition. Friend, is someone I admire, not necessarily he or she is to be the best amongst peopel I know of, but there must be something about him or her that I admire. Otherwise, it is kind of impossible for me to be close with that someone.

This is a serious problem. As I now despise most of my friends, I avoid seeing them. No more hang out. No more phone calls. Lastly, I do not even chat with them online anymore. Feeling guilty for being so "practical', but it is not wrong for what I have done so far.

We all influence others, and vice versa. So, it is very important that who we are hanging out with. If your friends are those motivated and positive, you will soon become one of them. If your friends are those negative and slacking type, you will soon become one of them too. For me, this is the truth.

So, I will just bear with that feeling of guilty.

DIET or DYING?

Heard from ex-boss that her two staff are currently on diet to slim down by eating a lot of cili padi. Ummm, that's new and strange. After eating that ladies fingers with lots of cili padi, they diarrhea for the whole afternoon.

Though ex-boss never said she's not happy about it, but I'm sure she's really not happy indeed. Intentionally causing diarrhea during working hours shows is not professional.

If I were at my ex-boss's position, I would've pointed it out, though probably with a toned down way. People who have no idea about professionalism and ethics at work, you just can't expect them to be sensible about critics and comments, even though they are the constructive ones.

Human beings can have more than hundred definitions for the same matter. Well, that's just the way the world works. So, don't push it too hard.

Miss you a lot

I miss colleagues from previous job so much. I missed them terribly, especially since last night's incident.

I've been seeing the differences between my former colleagues with my current colleagues since I started with this new job. Most of my new colleagues are nothing more than just a bunch of college kids, or worse even - a bunch of school kids.

I'm glad my ex-boss KL didn't see me as neither college nor school kid when i first joined the company. Thanks, KL. You've been such a great boss and a good friend to me. You're my role model.

StUpiD DaDa's Confession

It's been quite a long time I haven't had anything posted up here. All this while, I've been posted in my new English and Japanese blog - http://dada83.blogspot.com. Yea, a blog that is so mysterious, secretive, and lonely which I bet none of my friends have visited it.

Tonight, I'm so miserable and in desperate need of advice. Advice, I need advice from you. With the hope of getting responses from you all, I posted this both in my dada83.blogspot and here.

It's been a busy day - working half day and took half day leave to attend a job interview, as well as attend the farewell dinner of a colleague who's leaving next week. Of course, it was not only dinner. Someone poppped up with the idea of going to karaoke, but we all ended compromising with a movie at Queensbay.

The movie started at 9.15pm, and expected to finish by 11pm. 11pm! Gosh, it's been quite a long time I never hang out till that late, and definitely not with a motorbike. So, I rang home and told my sister I'll be going back late tonight. Less than a minute after I hung up the phone, my mum called and asking me to go home straight away. I would have blown up if this happen in few years back. But, no, I didn't blow up. I do understand how my parents feel about me going home late night riding a motorbike. I've had worried about my sisters who came home late. I know exactly what kind of feeling that is.

I went silent for more than a minute, I just didn't know what to do. My colleagues had been trying to persuade me to go karaoke for more than 15 minutes, which I felt so uncomfortable with. Then, we compromised with going for a movie. And right at the time my mum insisted that I should go home, my boss walked towards me with the tickets in his hand. Eventually, I watched the movie, and thinking about my parents worrying back there at home.

Soon after the movie finished, I quickly rode my motorbike home. I was riding at the speed of 80km per hour. That's lightning speed, at least it is for me who is riding on a motorbike. I wasn't worried about getting scolded, I no longer worry about being scolded for my mistakes or faults by my parents for quite some time. I was really sad for making my parents worrying about me.

I used to think that I'm old enough and matured enough to take charge of my life. Tonight, first time since I went to study in Australia, I don't think I'm good enough, old enough and matured enough to take charge of my life. I don't even know how to say NO to things that I don't like or I don't want to do.

It's kind of stupid to be bothered by myself thinking that others seeing me as mummy's or daddy's little girl. But, I do care about it, and very much indeed. I don't want to be mummy's little girl nor daddy's little girl. I always wanted to give the impression to others that I'm a matured young woman, who take charge of my own life, who never have to ask for permission to hang out late, who make decision for every single thing in life. How stupid I am and how naive I am to think so?!

I just wanna to say sorry - Dad, mum, I'm so sorry that I made you worried. Sorry.

Stinginess for words

Just can't understand why people are so ungenerous with words in letters or emails nowadays. Is it so hard for them to type a few words instead forwarding an email to the friends?

I always appreciated friends who type me personal messages. I would be excited if I get a hand scribbled letter from a friend. However, it has become such a luxury to receive hand written notes or letters. Now, even a personally composed email is too luxurious to ask from someone.

Sigh, we are all so stingy about words, both spoken and written, personally. We had rather forward an email that does not even carry the word "Hi". Sad.